A prayer

prayer for husband

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A prayer for your husband asks God for what you cannot give him yourself: strength under pressure, wisdom, healing, faith and peace, and patience and forgiveness between the two of you. These prayers ask rather than promise a changed man or an easy marriage. They draw on Paul's prayer for inner strength in Ephesians 3, the call to bear with one another in Colossians 3, and the priestly blessing in Numbers 6.

Also in this set: 28 Bible Verses About Marriage

Prayers by situation

A morning prayer for my husband

Lord, before the day pulls us in different directions, I am bringing my husband to you. You know where he is going today and what is waiting for him there, much of which I will never hear about. Give him a clear head and a steady heart. Where he is tempted to cut a corner, give him the courage not to. Where he feels alone, let him notice you. Keep him safe on the road. And when we see each other again tonight, tired and distracted, help me greet him with kindness rather than a list.

When he is under pressure at work

God, he carries more than he says. I can see it in how he sleeps and how quickly he snaps, and I know some of it is work: the expectations, the numbers, the people he answers to. I cannot fix that for him, and he may not want me to try. Give him wisdom for the decisions in front of him and rest he will actually take. Keep his sense of worth from shrinking to the size of his job. Show me how to be a place he can set the weight down, not one more thing he has to manage.

After he loses his job

Lord, the job is gone, and with it a lot of what he thought made him useful. He is trying to look calm, and I am trying not to do the sums out loud. We both need you. Provide what we need, through whatever means you choose, and keep us from turning on each other while we wait. Guard him from shame. Open the right door, and give him the heart to walk through it. And on the hard evenings, remind me that we are in this together.

When we keep having the same argument

God, we are back here again. Same subject, same tone, same door closed afterwards. I know my lines by heart, and I suspect he knows his. I am asking you to break the pattern, and I know I am part of it. Show me what I am not hearing. Give us the patience Paul writes about in Colossians 3, bearing with one another and forgiving. Help one of us soften first, and if it needs to be me, give me the humility for it.

When we feel more like roommates than a couple

Lord, nothing is wrong exactly. We are polite. We run the house, cover the calendar, pass each other in the kitchen. But I miss him, and I am not sure he notices the distance or knows how to close it either. Stir something in both of us. Give us one real conversation this week that is not about logistics. Remind me what I loved in him before life got this busy, and let him feel that I still see him. Draw us back toward each other, gently, and toward you.

When his faith is struggling or he does not share mine

God, I want him to know you, or to know you again, and I cannot make that happen. Pushing has never worked. So I am bringing him to you instead of to another conversation he did not ask for. Meet him in ways I would never think of. Let him see something of your kindness in how I treat him, and keep me from using faith as a weapon when we disagree. Give me patience for a story that is his and yours, not mine to write.

When he is ill, low or worn down

Lord, he is not himself. Whether it is his body, his mind or both, something is wearing him down, and I am watching from close by without knowing how to help. Bring healing, through doctors, rest, medicine or whatever you choose. Give him the willingness to ask for help, and people who will notice if he does not. Strengthen him on the inside, the way Paul asked for inner strength in Ephesians 3. And hold me up too, because caring for him is tiring in ways I do not always admit.

When I am too angry to pray for him

God, honestly, I do not want to pray for him right now. I want you to take my side. He hurt me, and whether he meant to or not, I am still sore. So I am bringing you the anger instead of pretending it is not there. Help me see clearly what happened, including my part, without excusing what was wrong. Keep me from punishing him in small, quiet ways. When I am able, help me forgive. Until then, bless him anyway, because I cannot quite manage it myself.

A blessing to speak over him

Lord, Numbers 6 holds a blessing you gave to be spoken over your people, and I want to bless my husband in that spirit, not only list what I wish were different. Keep him, in every place he goes. Be gracious to him on the days he is hard on himself. Let him know your favour, not as a reward for doing well, but because he is yours. Give him a peace that does not depend on how the week turns out. And let him feel wanted, by me as well as by you.

What do you pray for when you pray for your husband?

Praying for a husband is one of the most ordinary prayers there is, and one of the hardest to keep honest. It can drift into a list of things you would like changed, or shrink to a hurried line before sleep. These prayers are grouped by the situations people actually pray from: a pressured job, a lost one, the same argument again, a marriage gone quiet, illness, a faith that is struggling, and the days you are too angry to want to pray for him at all.

The passages behind them lean the same way. Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3 asks mostly for what happens inside a person: strength, faith, and a grasp of the love of Christ. Colossians 3 asks for patience and forgiveness, which in a marriage tends to be needed on both sides. Neither promises a particular outcome. Both give you something worth asking for.

What if I mostly want God to change him?

Many women come to this prayer with a specific frustration, and it is better admitted than dressed up. God can hear it. But prayer is not a tool for managing another person, and it usually goes better when it includes the one praying. The prayer for when we keep having the same argument asks for the pattern to break and admits a share in it. That is not the same as taking all the blame. It is simply refusing to pray as though only one of you needs grace.

What if he does not share my faith?

That can be a lonely place to pray from, especially if church, prayer or Scripture is something you carry without him. The prayer for when his faith is struggling or he does not share mine asks God to meet him in ways you would not think of, and asks you to stop pushing. Faith used as leverage in an argument rarely persuades anyone. Patience, kindness and an honest life are slower, and they leave room for God to do what you cannot.

What if I am too hurt or angry to pray for him?

Then say so. The prayer for when I am too angry to pray for him starts there, and it does not pretend the hurt is small. Forgiveness may come later than you would like, and it does not mean calling a wrong right. Philippians 4 invites every request to God with thanksgiving, and that includes the requests you are ashamed to make, like wanting God to take your side.

What if my marriage is not safe?

Some marriages are not just difficult but dangerous. If your husband hits you, threatens you, controls your money or your movements, or leaves you afraid in your own home, that is abuse, and praying for him is not a reason to stay in harm’s way. Your safety matters to God. If you are in danger now, contact local emergency services. A domestic abuse helpline, a doctor or a trusted counsellor can help you think through what to do next. Seeking that help is not a failure of faith or of love. The same is true if he is struggling with depression, addiction or thoughts of not wanting to be here: encourage him toward a doctor or counsellor, and do not carry it alone.

The passages this rests on

Bible translation

  1. For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

    Ephesians 3:14-19 ESV

    For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

    Ephesians 3:14-19 KJV

    Paul prays that his readers would be strengthened with power through the Spirit in their inner being, that Christ would dwell in their hearts through faith, and that, rooted in love, they would know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge. It is a prayer for other people, and most of it asks for what happens inside a person. That makes it a fair model for praying for a husband: asking for who he is becoming, not only for how his week goes.

  2. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

    Colossians 3:12-14 ESV

    Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

    Colossians 3:12-14 KJV

    Paul tells the church in Colossae to clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, to bear with one another, to forgive as the Lord forgave them, and over all of it to put on love. It is addressed to a whole church, though the same chapter goes on to speak to wives and husbands. Read inside a marriage, it is less a portrait of an ideal husband than a list worth asking for on both sides of a long argument.

  3. Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV

    Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 KJV

    Ecclesiastes observes that two are better than one: when one falls the other can lift him up, two lying together keep warm, and a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. The passage is about companionship in general rather than marriage alone, though it is often read at weddings and many readers take the third strand as God. Held lightly, it is a fair thing to pray over a partnership: that neither of you would fall without the other there.

  4. do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

    Philippians 4:6-7 ESV

    Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

    Philippians 4:6-7 KJV

    Paul urges his readers not to be anxious about anything, but to bring every request to God in prayer with thanksgiving, and he says the peace of God, which surpasses understanding, will guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. For anyone lying awake over a husband's health, job or choices, it gives the worry somewhere to go. Notice what is promised: a peace that guards the one praying, not a guarantee about how each request turns out.

  5. The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

    Numbers 6:24-26 ESV

    The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

    Numbers 6:24-26 KJV

    This blessing is given to Moses for Aaron and his sons to speak over the people of Israel. It asks that the Lord would bless and keep, make his face shine, be gracious and give peace. Because it was given to be spoken over others, it offers a natural shape for blessing a husband rather than only praying about him. The prayer titled a blessing to speak over him borrows its shape without needing its exact words.

Praying for your husband will not always feel like much. Some days it is a sentence in the car, or his name said into the dark before sleep. That still counts. Keep bringing him to God as he is, bring yourself alongside him, and leave the outcome with the One who hears.

You might be wondering

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the King James Version, which is in the public domain. Scripture quotations marked ESV are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.